How to Pursue a Woman…The Right Way

Please watch: “5 Signs of a Thriving Spiritual Life | James 4: 1-10”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EaxwmEezft0 –~–
How should a Christian man pursue a Christian woman? That’s our topic today on the BEAT

What’s up everybody it’s your boy Allen here so today I want to talk to the single men and give some advice on how we can pursue a woman.

DISCLAIMERS: There is no biblical formula for how to pursue a woman or how to date (dating was not an issue in their culture). I confess that I did not personally see the value in these principles before I started courting my wife.

And so with that being said, I want to suggest 6 principles for how we men can get this right. (SCREEN: Ladies I need you would help us by holding us accountable to these 6 principles.)

1. Check Yourself – In other words, be honest about where you are emotionally and whether or not you are in the right place to spiritually lead a woman.
2. Consistency – Women can’t STAND a man who doesn’t follow through with what he says so make sure your actions are consistent with your words.
3. Clarity – It is so important to women for us to be crystal clear about what our intentions are from the jump. This has several benefits…
a. Sets you apart from other men who are interested in playing games
b. Establishes your leadership which she craves and desires
c. When you don’t it sends the message that she’s good enough to kick it with but not good enough to commit to. Once you’ve established clear intentions…
4. Caution – Be careful to avoid physical contact early on because… (ladies hold us accountable…)
a. CONTACT without COMMITMENT = CONFUSION
b. When a man becomes physical with a woman
i. “What is it about me that is good enough for him to lay up on but not commit to?”
ii. “How many other women is he kissing on since we are not exclusive?”
iii. “Is this just a physical thing?”
c. With each contact it engages her heart even more and puts her in a very insecure place
d. Something else to consider is that not only are you protecting her and her heart but you’re protecting yourself because if the relationship doesn’t work
e. But if you don’t it can have devastating effects on her self-esteem, can damage her trust in men and make it more difficult for the man that God sends to pursue her next. While it may be easy for us to move on, often times she may be left dealing with emotional pain of another broken relationship.
5. Community or Covering
a. In other words…find out who are the most influential people in her life.
b. If she mentions that she has a spiritual covering such as a pastor, mentor, life group leader or even her father it would be in your best interest to make your intentions known to them.
c. HUGE! Because…these are the people she trusts, respects and listens to. So it’s best to let these people know who you are and get them on your side early on.
d. Now let me be clear, you are NOT asking for permission but simply making your intentions known.
6. Character – (Prov. 31)
a. Many of us get so caught up in the physical attraction and ignore the character and then after the physical wears off we move on searching for something more. Pay more attention to the qualities you need in a wife not a girlfriend.
b. Studies show that even in good marriages couples have sex for about 2 hours a week. It’s her character that will keep you engaged the other 166.

I wish someone would have told me this a long time ago. So guys the good news is that God doesn’t expect us to be perfect before we pursue a woman. But I hope this list gives us something to shoot for as we experience the challenges of dating.

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